August 31, 2009

SPLITS IN THE PIT

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In Nashville, we were in the middle of laundry when we realized we'd mad a grevious miscalculation regarding time and distance to Champaign-Urbana and so the wet laundry went into the windows to dry in the hot Kentucky sun.

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About 50 miles later, the check engine light was on, and the only place to stop was the Wildcat Ford dealership in the middle of nowhere. Despite it being a foreign car and all, they were keen on helping us "young ladies in distress". Here is Sari in her ultimate hoser outfit with the Wildcat Ford Pig. We raced to Champaign-Urbana, did 90 the entire way, got there exactly 1:15 after doors, to a gaggle of pre-teens out kinda late for a school night. The promoter had the hippie soundguy play an opening set to buy time. I ran from the car directly onto the stage.

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We went to Joanna's house, where her neighbor with the jeep asked us "What are you ladies doing later tonight?" I don't think he would have been interested in what we had planned. We fished the glowing high bounce balls out from the bag of special flower remedies and and watched the tornado from the porch til we had to go inside, and then watched the flood from inside and the girls did an herbal tarot reading by candlelight, for maximum spook factor, and I found out I have garlic/the tower as my obstacle. It was intense!

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The next morning we went to the campus womens center for a reading, and the girls raided the Potbellys buffet they had provided. We waddled back to the car with pockets stuffed full of paper napkins and crumbley cookies.

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The womens center had prom dresses displayed that had been painted and worn to various protests. I'd probably just wear that to class if I had it though.

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Next night was Boxcar Books in Bloomington, where there were tons of kids until one of the Ghost Bees forgot to not sing "shit" in one of the songs, and then there were a few less kids and parents.

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Katie and her band and girlfriend Mandy returned to the tour. In this picture we are debating whether to poop on the doorstep of Laughing Planet Burritos out of revenge. Not really, but almost. Rudest service any of us ever had in our lives. I explained to them what an Upper Decker is, and they do not have that term in Canada and kept called it a "Hopper Decker"--wrong. We drove home that night because the next morning we had to be ready to boogie with a noon soundcheck.

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Fatal Attraction opened. Oh my gosh they were amazing. They should have headlined. They opened with Jennifer Hudson's "Spotlight"--and one of the girls dads or uncle was filling in for one of the keyboardist who had a school event--Glass Bricks loaned him their Wurly.
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I almost cried and I was not alone.
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Fiona's band, Circular Convention played next.
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They are a girls rock camper band--instrumental and Pixies-esque.
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Sisters/rhythm section.
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Jackie, rock camper and Melissa, rock camp counselour/bosslady.
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Ballet moves for the Ghost Bees set.
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Katies set also inspired some moves.
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Crabwalk, limbo and cartwheels.
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And the splits. I had the real distinct feeling that it was more than just celebration and fun dancing, they were trying to show the girls on stage what they could do back at them.

Posted by jessica hopper at 02:56 PM | TrackBack

August 30, 2009

ON TOUR WITH THE WILLY WIDDLE BLUES BAND

And so our story begins where we left off: Brooklyn USA, where the junkie wolverines ripped the stereo from Katies car and stole a box of muffins AND 2 jean jackets, and where the Ghost bees and I lost merch to some puddle--a moment which would soon become a turning point for our wee tour...

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Katie waiting for the cops while our merch dries in the sun. One way to keep people from taking your merch is to make heavy merch. No one wants to make off with four 42 lb boxes of books for little girls. We left it to dry and my sister and I drove across Brooklyn and I got a new window.

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Dusk was coming and we still had to make it to Baltimore. Katie stayed behind in vain hopes she could get her dashboard repaired and still make the show--instead they texted they were heading back to Toronto to take care of Maya's border problem early and so we wouldn't see them again til the midwest. The Ghost Bees put their stuff in my trunk and we did 90 the whole way, made it a mere 32 minutes after doors, and then everyone told us no one comes to shows til 11, no matter what time you say they start. The girls and I ate amazing fried planatains and watched Rjyan give a lecture as the opening act.

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It was about how since everyone is concerned with the economy now, no one has time to keep up on celebrity culture and gossip, so he filled us in. He started with Brangelina's divorce, Will Farrell starring in a movie about how homelessless makes you happy and ended with Kevin Federline recording an Eno-like album on an Arp and then stabbing his own eye out at the VMAS. Apparently we missed all of it. I was crying with laughter.

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The next morning, Rjyan and Roby took us to breakfast; we took a scenic route.
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And saw this.
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And walked through the corn, the forest, over a stream and
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through a lacrosse field.

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We went to DC, tried to see the White House, drove past the USDA instead. We didn;t play ping pong, but we did eat tons of pizza. Sasha and Malia didn't show up, though we really wished hard. Obama-band needs to happen. They should take lessons from Mary Timony, who teaches now. Kids and adults, if'n yr in the DC area, heres yr chance to learn how to shred from a master.

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Sparkle toys that blink when you highbounce em; they kept us occupied all tour.
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We bought the paper and Sari read it aloud, we were shocked but not at all surprised to hear of MJ's murder.
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We'd been listening to mostly cooking podcasts for days, we were out of touch.

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We got to Chapel Hill and went two blocks to Carrboro, for the fish tacos at Carrburrito. The girls tried sweet tea and did not find it to their liking. They don't drink tea with that much sugar in the Maritimes I guess. We hatched a plan to keep the show on time so we could come back before 10 and get sweet potatoes burrito. I could eat there 100 times a day. 9:56 rolled around and we were just loading out. Foiled again!

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Heather let me do the sign for the night. It was the first day of school in NC, no kids came, but grown up girls did, and the Ghost Bees put on quite a show.

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They incorporated the blinking hi-bounce balls and a story about their friends birth--a water birth, with dolphins. "Actually, the dolphin helps and it brings the baby up to the surface." said Sari. "This is what you're missing by not having socialized health care," said Romy 'Dolphin birth." People were crying they were laughing so hard. The girls are real comedians.
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Pink Flag played after. I thought they were still teenagers--but they are all in college now, old enough to crack beers legally. They were so good.

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We drove a few hours into the night and when we woke up in Hickory, we went to Waffle House. We had been talking about it for four days already.
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The windsheild thinger started peeling up, so I did what any tour manager would and covered it in gaff tape til it worked again.
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You know how about a week into tour, you just start kind of looking like hell, you stop caring about looking cool, and you just start looking like yr going camping with your parents? For me that was in Tennesee, at the all wooden gas station.
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We saw all saw this graffiti in the bathroom and decided we are on the side of "fuck you"--not the uncle.
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Next tour we are totally playing this festival.
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This was about 1/3rd of the audience for Nashville. Another 1/3rd, on the other side of the aisle at Grimeys also looked like Steve Earle's roadies. Grimeys ad/tweets for the event mentioned that Ghost Bees were folk, so tons of older studio cats and jobbers--folks enthusiasts--came out.

TO BE CONTINUED!


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August 24, 2009

REPLACE WITH NEW STYLE

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Carmen.
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Katie and I getting interviewed. She put on her sunglasses and gave them the straight on rocking under the patriarchy.
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They are into metal, those girls.
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Romy and Carmen, my Canadian payload. Both EXPERT in their knowledge of Joni Mitchells career, including the eighties.
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Under mountains.
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Megan is turning crimson because she thought I said "show me your tats" but I was actually telling Jen "show me your tacks".
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Ghost Bees with Carmen and Maya.
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Backstage, post-show, Katies band.
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Anna/These Are Powers, who set up the aaaammmmazing Saturday night super bill. Thanks lady.
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Mary with the pequeno keeblero
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Kaki with pequeno keeblero
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Konk out
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Sixteen Candles on the rooftop, Brooklyn behind, somewhere below someone breaking into our cars
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New day rising

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August 21, 2009

ON TOUR SHE FEELS LIKE HOMIST

This book tour is like a rock tour, but touring with new friend girls, Canadian conquergirls, and my gear consists of a page marked book and a sportsbottle it is like mobile powerchilling. No long hauls in the sleeping loft. It's so... decent. And then there are the long talks, you know, like explaining concealed carry gun laws. Less little ladies this time out, more teens and grown ups, rock clubs still being the province of the old, but in Cleveland I did have a front row 4 yr old, mashing a rubber dinosaur in her tiny teeth maw, who would occasionally repeat--yelping--a word I had just read "TOUR!" "GUITAR!" like a pint sized cheerleader.

Clevelands flooding and torrential downpour lifted an hour before Visible Voice reading (now in my top 3 of bookstores in america, hands down the best film section i have ever browsed) and it was so nice by 7:30 that they had me read in the courtyard outside.

The night and today all day was just like all luck, sweet fate, bounty and auspiciousness all the way around. And I get to see Ghost Bees and Katie's band every night, which is--it's hard not to sound like a total sap--but they are the best example bands to match the book I could conceive of. Carmen has been playing guitar for 17 years--since she was 3. Maya plays a half kit/xylophone standing up since she studied Butoh. Katie has a hugenormous voice and brings all her piano training into her baroque nu wave vision. The Ghost Bees have been on tour non stop and are basically musical nomads, self taught, the are like antiquity-folk doom metal, but with a mandolin, singing about their twin-birth and feminist witch allegories. And, ironically enough, their entrance into our country for this tour was complicated by the American Border Patrol not actually believing they were in a band, because they are girls. Even after finding the guitar, keyboard, xylophone and 50 cds with katies name on the cover. Instead they assumed Maya was trying to immigrate illegally, rather than tour, because, well, you know, girls don't have real bands.

Posted by jessica hopper at 10:58 PM | TrackBack

BAND IN DC

Inexplicably the DC date was missing from what I posted before:

8/24 Washington DC @ Comet Ping Pong w/ Ghost Bees & Lucia Lucia & May from Pree (7 pm, all-ages, $3 kids $5 adults)

24th-26th, the role of Katie Stelmanis will be played by The Ghost Bees, as a Canadian border debacle must be tended to, but KS and band will return to tour for Champaign, Bloomington and Chicago. Chicago show now also features a Girls Rock Chicago band, The Black Skittles.

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August 19, 2009

FLIGHT OF THE A-CCORRDZZ

Again, for the half-hundredth time: I am tour from now til the end of the month please come visit me at these things, see Katies boss band and also if you have a mixtape or CD to share, I would be grateful cos I am totally going to run out of cooking podcasts by this Saturday. I like my reggae old, my techno either way minimal or totally Ibiza gross, disco that is not too disco/Discobelle, hardcore that is not macho and you know the rest (local girl bands, doo wop). No this-weeks-P4k trend bands. I can't listen to fake Les Savvy Fav bands in the car. Not to be picky, but just to help you help me.

Look at this picture of Annie Potts for inspiration:
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and also, this picture of Wyatt in the Canadian kick drum:
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If you live in an east coast secondary market, see you this week.

love,
J

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August 18, 2009

FIGHT SONGZEZ

File under must-cop: DJ Eleven's best-of MOP mix.
Goodness!

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ANOTHER THING TO DO

The Oak Park library is the nicest library in town, even though it's not technically in our town. Our town being the Boogie. Never the less, Oak Park is another land in some ways, it's a respite to the type of clean streets, sane living, racial integration that you do not get enough of here in Chicago. And it's only, like, a few miles away.
This is all to help induce you to come out tomorrow/Weds:

Oak Park Public Library
834 Lake Street
2 blocks off the green line Oak Park Ave stop
I read at 7 pm, and then Carol Bui, who records for Temporary Residence, she is a DC lady of guitar-expertise, she is gonna play a show with her band,
IT IS FREE
IT IS ALL AGES
IT IS FOR GROWN UPS AND KIDS


There is a really decent Indian spot on the next block, come early, get some dinner, hang out on the VERDANT slopes of the park that surrounds the library, come see Carol play. It's gonna be so rad.

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August 17, 2009

YOUTH IN ASIA

UNDER OBAMA DEATH CARE

(1) American girls must be drunk and on birth control by age 7.
(2) No free peanuts on airplane rides.
(3) Genocide of fat white people, but black ones get free cotton candy.
(4) No more pizza. Only if you receive a special note from Rahm!
(5) No more drugs except Oxy Contin. If you need antibiotics they will make you smoke medical marijuana instead.
(6) If you are old and rich you must get a limb amputated by Labor Day, no matter what.
(7) If you are old and homeless you can mug anyone for their dentures.
(8) You must have a compound fracture in order for any broken limbs to be reset, otherwise you have to live with it the rest of your lives.
(9) You have to pay $150 annually for muslim minorities in France to have health care...this comes out of your bimonthly W-9 statement that is filed with the FBI and makes you a surveillance target. We can't let this happen.
(10) You have to turn in your car and ride a bike if the trip is under 150 miles.
(11) One of your children must go live in Russia.
(12) Toilet training will be a crime. You must buy government diapers starting January 19th, 2010.
(13) If you are addicted to meth, you will be given a job conducting the subway.
(14) The border fence to Mexico will be torn down, and illegals will be put on Viagra.
(15) Canadian commies will come here to steal our good doctors and let them live in Castles up there.

DO YOU WANT ALL OF THIS TO HAPPEN? Vote "No" in the EMERGENCY PRESIDENTIAL RECALL REFERENDUM ELECTION of 2009. ASK YOUR CONGRE$$MAN ABOUT THE DETAILS AND DON'T LET THEM LIE TO YOU. OBAMA MIGHT BE GOING TO PRISON IF WE ALL VOTE.

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COOL IN A BOWLER

Remember last week when I said no one ever looks cool in a bowler? Taking that back. Sari and Romy Lightman of Nova Scotia, aka The Ghost Bees, aka MY TOUR MATES =cool bowler wearers, possessors of decorative sticks.

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August 14, 2009

TINY LUCKY STICKLER

Hey. I totally appreciate any and all people referring folks to the tour, to the book, etc. but please please please please please do not link or tweet or refer people to this blog in reference to the book. Even if they are adults. Please only use http://girlsguidetorocking.com/. This is not a blog for kids, this is a blog that might offend some parents and they will think I am someone whose book they DO NOT want to buy for a 13 yr old because yesterday I blogged about balls.

Posted by jessica hopper at 09:57 PM | TrackBack

August 13, 2009

THERE IS NO MUSEUM OF LOVE

Start to half finish it was an unusual day for us. Errands and pre-tour hustling and then went and hung out at the hospital where Matt found out he did not have a hernia, but only after the prettiest doctor in the history of doctors (including but not limited to women who play doctors on TV) touched his nuts. I missed that part because I was outside on the curb doing a pre-interview with a producer for Fox and Friends, because I am going on TV tomorrow morning at DAWN O CLOCK (6:50CST am) to be counterpoint to a NJ mom who things Miley and her short shorts are a harbinger of sin and vice. If I was 16 and owned a horse farm and supported a multi-national Mousporation and my entire family, and was the top grossing concert performer of 2008 under the age of 35, I'd be pissed if anyone was telling me how to wear my drawers. In between the Fox chat and Matt's freebie w/ Dr. Julie, I started Werner Herzog's CONQUEST OF THE USELESS and it's slaughtering my mind. It's his diary about making Fitzacarraldo By about the 9th entry, 2 people have lost toes, he's been in a boat accident, he's insulted Coppola, he's been hit in the head with an object and almost speared, he's watched a kitten slowly die, he's watched pigs get butchered, he's watched a human use a flailing half dead cow as a couch, he's touched a corpse, examined a strange mans scabs, and HE'S ONLY BEEN ON LOCATION FOR TWO DAYS.

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August 12, 2009

I HAVE BEEN DOING IT WRONG MY WHOLE LIFE!

Check and make sure--are you skanking properly? This 1964 instructional shows how.

Though I have been doing that "rowing" move, which is inexplicably described as "complicated" for some time, oblivious that there was a technique behind gregarious thrusting. Also, I would totally like that giant COOL SKA COOL banner for my room.

Posted by jessica hopper at 11:13 PM | TrackBack

I COULD DIE WITHIN YR RE-E-EE-EACH

Hey!!!!!!!!
T-minus A WEEK until tour. Please please please come to the tour, or tell yr friends to come, yr cousin, pen pals and band mate and yr mom. I convinced Katie Stelmanis and the girls in her band, including but not limited to The Ghost Bees that I would be a good shepherd here in America. I have also convinced my pal Carol Bui, who you know from her album on Temporary Residence, or from her being a radical gal of the DC scene, that her and the girls in her band should come play at the library instead of a rock club. Please, please, tender reader I am hoping to draw on your support on this next jaunt. Katie's band is so great, Ghost Bees are great, my reading is well practiced so I think I am probably a pretty good time as well, and I will have buttons and books for sale, too. We are traveling in a fleet of Accords. Please come to the shows and be the extra proof to the young girls that come that the scene is an inclusive place and being part of it is fun. Also, I think we need a place to stay in Asheville, NC after the Chapel Hill show, if you can fit 5 Canadians and me in yr casa, plz holler.


8/19 Oak Park, IL @ Oak Park Public Library 7 p.m., reading & concert w/ Carol Bui band (all-ages, free). 824 Lake street, 2 blocks from the Green Line stop.

8/20 Cleveland, OH @ Visible Voice Bookstore 7:30 pm, reading only--the bands are at Happy Dog @ 9

8/20 Cleveland, OH @ Happy Dog (5801 Detroit Ave) Katie Stelmanis & Ghost Bees & me DJ-ing & beardo bandini (9 p.m., $4, all-ages)

8/21 Pittsburgh @ Garfield Art Works w/ Katie Stelmanis & Ghost Bees (6:30 doors, reading, bands & dance party! all-ages)

8/22 Brooklyn, NY @ Littlefield w/ These Are Powers & Katie Stelmanis & Ghost Bees & me & DJ's MNDR & L-Train. 6pm. BBQ 7 pm show $8 and 16+ (sorry)

8/23 Baltimore @ Comet Ping Pong w/ Katie Stelmanis & Lucia Lucia & May from Pree (7 pm, all-ages, $3 kids $5 adults)

8/25 Chapel Hill, NC @ Nightlight w/ Katie Stelmanis & Ghost Bees & Pink Flag (all-ages, $5, 7 pm)

8/26 Nashville, TN @ Grimey's w/Katie Stelmanis (6 pm, all ages, free.)

8/27 Champaign-Urbana, IL @ The Red Herring w/ Katie Stelmanis (all ages, $3 kids $5 kids, 7 pm)

8/28 Champaign-Urbana, IL @ Women's Resources Center at UIUC @ the corner of Wright and Green on the UIUC campus
(703 S. Wright Street, 2nd Floor) reading & discussion only 12 noon

8/28 Bloomington, IN @ Boxcar Books & Community Center w/ Katie Stelmanis & Ghost Bees (all-ages, $3 kids-$5 kids, 7 pm)

8/29 Chicago @ Hideout w/ Katie Stelmanis & Ghost Bees & Glass Bricks and the debut of pre-teen/teen-band Fatal Attraction 1-4 pm (under 8 free, $4 kids, $7 adults ALL AGES WELCOME, duh)

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August 11, 2009

ITS JUST THE BEGINNININGING

Sometimes, sometimes often actually, just thinking about planning this wedding of mine makes me want to punch the world in the face.

I am the mortal enemy of fiasco and tradition. Combine them and theres "wedding". Everyone says "you can do it exactly your way", but there is a form that things are supposed to follow. Unless you have some bizerk hippie wedding where people can bring their dog.

Weddings are expensive. This is about all I know so far. That and most wedding dresses do not have sleeves and are not made from wool. It's the winter! what am I supposed to do, wear a sweater over it?

Tonight I said to Matt, well actually maybe I just thought it, but at this rate I have a feeling in lieu of catering, we're just gonna have to order Bacci and maybe have Tamale Guy swing through. What is it?--like 5 Tamales for a couple bucks?--and a free napkin--and you have to be fucking wasted to finish an entire ziploc of those. I bet you could get a whole little cooler of them for like $50.

No doubt you could feed an entire 100 person wedding reception with like 3 Bacci pizzas and two Tamale Guys.

Wonder if Bacci would throw in free cups of grape pop like they do when you order in? I am trying to remember who was so drunk last summer that Scheid and I convinced them that during the winter Bacci serves the grape soda hot.

So, the funny thing about having made a book for kids is that now I have penpals who are all of 12. The only bummer is now I have to keep everything clean. Tweets. Facebook posts. Probably this. If yr writing about my book somewhere, do not link here. I don't want to have to stop swearing because my 9 year old friends and their parents are checking out TLGenius. Cool?

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August 10, 2009

WAKE UP SLEEPYFACE

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Wyatt.

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STRICTLY RIDDIM

Michachu remix of the XX dance music in a sense.

Side A of Chrissy Murderbot's "vocal house of 1990's" mixtape which has Jomanda and a Shep Pettibone deep house mix, so it is dance music in a profound and classic sense. Cop the b-side as well, for your mid-day Cece and Gwen Guthrie (RIP) fix. The B-side, along with the rest of lil' Chrissy's mixes--WINNERS ALL--are up on this site, YEAR OF MIXTAPES.

Posted by jessica hopper at 01:54 PM | TrackBack

REMEMBER HER


Lillian Roxon interviewed. Early feminist rock critic, heavy influence and author of the Rock Encylopedia, early champion of the New York Dolls, T.REX, Bowie, others. Died too soon, forgotten too often.

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August 07, 2009

STEELY EYED

Rob Tannenbaum lights Steely Dan shows aflame:
"On his best nights, Donald Fagen looks like a guy who got lost on his way to the OTB parlor. No matter how long Steely Dan recorded in L.A., Fagen remained a New Yorker, gruff and pale, and last week he was even less hale than usual. On Tuesday night, they recreated Aja, their 1979 best-seller, an LP about idealism and transcendence, then followed with more than an hour of hits and complex drum fills; we’d never seen so much man-dating at a concert, not even at the Pet Shop Boys. There were more ponytails than a Hannah Montana concert. (“Look at all these stereo salesmen,” my own man-date chuckled.) In a voice as dry as the Santa Ana winds, Fagen coughed up some high notes, shorting out altogether on “Home at Last,” and announced he had a cold. The next night, a performance of Gaucho was canceled owing to his illness. On Friday, with Larry Carlton joining as a special guest — you should have heard the held tones he injected at the end of his “Reelin’ In the Years” solo! Seriously tasty! — they did The Royal Scam, a mean-spirited record that begins with a story of how the late sixties counterculture died, and Fagen muddled the first verse to “The Caves of Altamira.” The next night he was more voluble, adding new inflections and syncopations to songs, but on “Peg” it seemed he might lose his voice entirely, and a well-heeled couple next to me, in prime seats by the soundboard, declared the show “flat” and walked out halfway through. Elitists are difficult to keep happy."

Posted by jessica hopper at 11:35 AM | TrackBack

CRYING LIGHTS

Grayson Currin's epic Antony profile is inspired and inspiring: the writer understands the implications and the human scale meanings and importance of Antony's work. Antony, reverent as ever--gender, love, trees--what you want an artist to be. The whole part about trying to carefully unpack the bullshit dream world of MGMT, being disturbed by the retreat into insular capitalist dream world--rather than just going "this is stupid"--MGMTS dreamworld retreat= standing in for pop's life-killing contempo-narrative--great example of a much larger paradigm/idea/sad life-meme.

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August 06, 2009

"SO-CALLED PUNK VIEWS"

1983 WCCO "expose" about the Minneapolis hardcore scene

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SK8R SISTERS

Jenna Thornhill DeWitt's behind the scenes Mika Miko tour pictorial is ruling and crucial viewing: here and here
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PINK CHIFFON WINGS

A good reason to have a bunch of kids is so they can have bandmates, like

The Clark Sisters. Elbernita, Jacky, Dorinda, Karen and Denise. Starting with the solo c. 5:11, things just get better and more bananas-er.

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August 05, 2009

LOUD AND PROUD

Get psyched for spring 2010: Laina Dawes has a book coming on black women in metal, hard rock & punk.

Posted by jessica hopper at 09:10 AM | TrackBack

STEALERS WHEEL

Aaron Hunt, one of the co-editors of The FourOhFive website plagiarized my David Bazan story though his editor, Oliver Primus, claims it was an accident that he cobbled together a review from a 2500 word feature and "forgot" to credit me. In case you, too, are a dipshit running a website, let me clarify--that is also plagiarism.

Posted by jessica hopper at 08:44 AM | TrackBack

August 04, 2009

BLUR, REUNION, BLUR

Where is my summer? I feel like it's just been sleeping and then going to the bank for laundry quarters and I spend those on parking and now there is a clothes mountain in my room.

When I was a young person I had a routine: watch tv and eat fruit roll ups til about noon, then bike around the lake as fast as I could three times (roughly 9 miles), come home and wait for the mail to come, then read Newsweek or Us News & World report if they came, otherwise I'd just read the paper. Sometimes I would work on a sewing project, like fashioning a hat or a cape for wearing around my room, possibly work on a painting, do some sort of "project". Then I would mow the yard, brush the dogs, vacuum or load the dishwasher before my parents got home and then treat myself to a few marshmellows I had warmed in the microwave. I also remember ready a lot of "salacious" books about dead people: Wired: The John Belushi Story was a fave along with Go Ask Alice which implanted the misconception that acid was so addictive you'd start tricking for it.

This was my routine, as I remember it, about 4th-8th grade.
My adult routine seems way less industrious. I would like to mow a yard.If I had kept in line with my kid ambitions, I would totally be wiling away my time in a woodshop, not blogging.

After starting in on half a dozen books so awful they had to be abandoned in airplane seatback pockets, I have started on two I expect to finish: Groucho Marx's Memoir of a Mangy Lover which is puns and slow-wind up funny stories with clean sex joke punchlines and a bunch of one-liners about dogs. When it's funny, it's a really satisfying funny. I am also reading Belushi the oral history, which I think is a kind of setting-the-record-straight post-Wired objective, and is honest but also kind of cannonizing--painting him as a freakishly-gifted, over-the-top, good-at-everything. He was also college friends with Suze Orman (Oprah's financial guru) and spent his early life in the same neighborhood where I now live. These are my two favorite fun facts I have learned so far.

Posted by jessica hopper at 12:17 PM | TrackBack

August 02, 2009

THE NINETIES


Weird Helium video I never done seen. Would love to see the storyboard for this.

Posted by jessica hopper at 10:01 PM | TrackBack

August 01, 2009

THE YUNGLE

We half watched the last half of The Burden of Dreams on the new C shaped Librarace's boudoir couch. I can watch that movie a million times and am still hungry for it. Matt and I took turns sleeping and then poking each other awake with our legs. When you fall asleep while watching a movie, the sleep feels so long because plot has developed while you snoozed, so a 3 minute nod feels like 40 or 45 minutes of bed sleep, you have no idea where you are within the plot unless you know it already. I woke up in time for the "violence of the yungle" speech, about how as human westerners, in comparison we are like poorly articulated half-sentences of some boring suburban. I am not even sure he says "suburban person" I think he's saying "suburban" like he says "Peruvian".

Now after we watched that and then all the extras, it is hard to sleep. In "Eats His Shoe" Herzog, in what is it? 1976? the day after he eats his shoe which has been boiled and seasoned in the kitchen at Chez Panisse--in that interview he says we should go to literal war against commercials, how commercials are offensive to life, basically. I cannot try and sleep, I just want to think about how to take the dare that is Herzogs ideas.

Tonight, we worked on what is my favorite part of when Matt moves back in--the hanging of the art. Matt went to college for art before he went to college for lawyering and so he's really meticulous and pro and about nailing things up. He uses a measuring tape. I do everything by feel, so I am in awe. When he comes on home, back in to the home that is our home, he really classes the place up. He jokes that his St. Louis apartment was the bachelor museum, but I think, mine is really the bachelorette ghetto. I am unruly, a keeper of piles and unscheduled days and imma-arteest excuses, spoiled enfant from yrs of solitudiness working, never making the bed, using that bed as an office, working when I want, lazing when I want, cooking for one, discipline or regard rarely called for. My lifestyle is like a blast radius still. I am totally the bachelor-mess of our relationship.

I did manage to get quarters for laundry today, though.
I am getting it together. Tryin.

Posted by jessica hopper at 01:47 AM | TrackBack