June 08, 2011


LINDY WEST REVIEWS BRIDESMAIDS AND I LAFFED MYSELF TO DEATH:"I mean, look. I know I'm a white woman living in America in 2011, so I'm not particularly oppressed. It's not like I'm considered property fit only for domestic labor and baby manufacturing—anymore (it's been like 50 years already, ladies, take a Midol and quit cryin'!)! I can be anything I want to be, such as a nurse or a middle manager or a sexy policewoman or a real housewife! BUT OH MY GOD, SOMETIMES BEING A WOMAN IS SO INFURIATING I WANT TO EXTRACT MY UTERUS WITH A FORK AND THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW.

You know that look-at-us-we-killed- Osama-in-the-brains situation-room photo? Did you notice that there are only two women in there? Two. And we're 50 percent of the population. I get that President Hillary would have just gotten her menses all over the Oval Office and changed Martin Luther King Jr. Day to Raw Cookie Dough Makes the Crying Stop Day and slashed funding for men's reproductive health and made football illegal. And when football is illegal, only the terrorists will play football. Fine. I get it, all-you-people-who-are-totally-not-sexist. You are beacons of equality and tolerance, and I would be honored to serve as your sex- ottoman/chicken-nugget-delivery-system. Feminism is dead. Ding-dong.

ALSO, I am kind of on a tear ("I don' wanna wriiiite, I wunna wead! I'm tired!" I whined to myself inside my brain) and I just wanna read mean movie reviews instead of meeting my three deadlines but IF YOU TOO WOULD LIKE TO READ SOME MEAN MOVIE REVIEWS, get over to I SAW THAT and permalink it or put it in yr google reader. That is my film blog with my friend, Regarding. We are watching tunz of bad blockbusters so you do not have to also, Regarding wrote a super long and so amazing thing about fast vs. slow zombies and cold vampire penis--so don't be all "TLDR" about it.

Posted by jessica hopper at June 8, 2011 10:19 AM | TrackBack