May 31, 2011


Our fine son now sleeps in his crib every night, through the night. Both are newish developments. As a result Matt and I have our bed back and so we can have pre-sleep conversation, which I sorely missed during the five months baby William tossed and turned his footed-jammied plumpness between us. Last night, as we were laying in the hot heat, I decided to see if I could make up a joke as I told it and have it be actually funny by the time it arrived to the punchline. It almost worked a few times. It started with one about a cannibal rooster who eats chickens and devolved into one about "two balls, who are roommates, are in a pasture, and they pass a mirror" into puns about dogs and hot dogs. Matt insisted none of them were funny, but his laughter spoke otherwise. I am just trying to keep up with him. He has a comedic mind. He thinks up punchlines and works backwards. He was besting me, including an epic one about a bear, a detective and a blackhole looking for the drinks at a party, with a punchline that was "All this just to get to the punch line?!" It worked as joke, whereas mine just were just gross existential riddles told from the point of view of testicles.

I do not have a ton of other business to share, save for two things: Slutwalk Chicago is Saturday at noon here in Chicago, starting at Thompson Center and heading to Daley Plaza, and you should be there, to protest a culture of victim-shaming and motherfucking old white men redefining rape into you know "rape that is not really rape" and the traditional ol' "forcible rape". As opposed to say "requested rape"? DO YOU NOT JUST WANNA THROW OLD DIAPERS IN THE FACE OF THE GOP SENATORS? I want there to be a hail of human excrement to pour from the rotunda ceiling, ala You Can't Do That On Television-style every time they start talking about anything to do with anything that has anything to do with a woman's own body. Lava-hot make-you-gag-your-nosehairs-tingle style baby diarrhea. Just raining down, coating their bald pates and white hairs alike.

Posted by jessica hopper at May 31, 2011 11:05 PM | TrackBack