September 20, 2010

42 MINUTES

How come no one warned me that Nicolas Roeg's Bad Timing not only stars Art Garfunkel, during those like, two years when he was considered to be fair leading man material, before people figured out he has all the onscreen charisma of a carrot--but also that THERE ARE UNSEXY SEX SCENES WITH ART GARFUNKEL A-TANGLE AND MIMING EROTIC THRILLS WITH HIS FACE AND BODY. I am not a prude, by any means, but lord love a duck, there are just some things that should be kept private. And not filmed. And not released to the public on DVD, not even as an "art film".

I am taking it back to the video store tomorrow and suggesting they create a new section, just for this movie, and file it under "BRAIN STAIN" or "MOVIES TO BE THROWN ON ONCE YOU REALIZE THE PERSON YOU INVITED OVER TO WATCH A MOVIE IS A DUD AND YOU NEED THEM TO LEAVE IN A HURRY".

SERIOUSLY. 1975 era Art-Garf panting in a sheet on the TV will make you wish it was Paul Simon of now doing a "sexy" dance, in the nude, in person, in your room, instead.

The "How did we make it to minute 42 of this?" is a bigger headscratcher than last weeks "How did we make it to minute 11 of G.I. Joe?"

Posted by jessica hopper at September 20, 2010 01:13 AM | TrackBack