July 17, 2010

DON'T FUCKIN TELL ME WHAT TO DO DO DO

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When I planted the strawberries, the plants were all different sizes and I thought this was some genius thinking on my part, because we would have a staggered harvest between the 6 or so plants. I really thought that was smart thinking. I did not really think "I will have 1-2 strawberries to eat everyday for all summer long". The other day I got five. We ate two and put the other three in the lidded butter zone in the fridge. What to do with five little strawberries? To eat them all at once seemed weirdly gluttonous. I should of put them low, in the crisper to keep them properly but I imagined but three lone wild strawberries would be forgotten anyplace else. In the butter-spot up at the top of the fridge, it's like a museum, a little waiting spot, a micro-harvest purgatory where they await their fate. Or for other little berries join them to come to a quorum. Maybe there will be more today.

The baby is not here yet. We are trying to "spin" him to an optimal birth position with tricks, like long inversions and shimmies and crooked steps. You would think you cannot go upside down when you are pregnant, but you can. Well, I wouldn't think that but seemingly a lot of people do. I have told people this and they are mouth-agape style shocked. It's not like he's going to continue to slide upwards unimpeded and come out my mouth. I dunno whats shocking about it. But then again, sometimes I so much as mention--MENTION, not describe--"labor"--to our up and downstairs neighbors (ladies who are all in their twenties), and they give me the gasface.

Childbirth has been around for EVER, you'd think people would just be over it by now.

Meanwhile, our living room is presently filled with some boxes of diapers and wipes we registered for. You would think 840 baby wipes or 120 diapers is kind of medium small box because baby butts are so small. But they are not. The cats are delighted, as their usual cat-huts have grown to being an Amazon-subsidized suburban subdivision.


Posted by jessica hopper at July 17, 2010 11:22 AM | TrackBack