February 22, 2010

POWDERED ROOMS

I have not been blogging because I am packing. Packing to move in 4 days and taking too many breaks to watch Olympics. The TV-enabling box is going to get hidden in a box that we will not look forward to opening, maybe the "TAXES AND OFFICE PAPERS JH" box that is the size of a large microwave? Or maybe we will keep it in the freezer, like I did my smokes when I was really trying to limit my cigarette use. I lived so long without the knowledge of exactly what was happening on Antiques Roadshow and now I feel I cannot. So the box must go. Maybe it has to do with that I am pregnant and feel like I need what I need and might freak out if I do not have it. Being pregnant is kind of like being a baby. No one tells you that part. I am fragile and fat and tired, just like a giant baby.

In my dream last night I went to the beach and had some metal hippies blow weed smoke on my pregnant belly to chill out the baby. My other dream, I had to do an 80 page interview with John Mayer and was horrified that I found him so charming. We spent a lot of time in his jeep. It was very real and confusing to wake up from, this feeling of endearment towards John Mayer.

I ordered some overalls off eBay. When I went to my organic gardening from seeds class, all the other preggos there had on engineer striped overalls and we spoke and one of them said she gave up pants at 3 months and has worn the same overalls everyday for 4 months since. I almost cried. Overalls, why had I not thought of overalls! I will do the same. I will not seek fruitless pants based solutions anymore! Pigtails, hoodies and overalls is preggo classic™. As soon as my growing out hair gets past this weird Ethel Kennedy spacehelmet bowl stage, the pigtails are going in.

In my gardening class, which took place in the big park center greenhouse so jungley and warm, there was an older man who kept Kanye-ing the teacher. The teacher who is a Master Gardener for the Botanical Garden. He would finish her sentences with the wrong information. Correct her with his non-organic technique and make asides, never raising his hand, dragging the class down with his exercise of his male right to be a non-stop and vocal authority without being an authority at all. I got so mad, even though he was totally a grandpa and sometimes that is just how grandpas are and there is no amount of coughing or annoyed looks that could possibly stop him. The first 49 years of his life his everyday just enforced that he was the boss of the gals. Any and all gals.

Posted by jessica hopper at February 22, 2010 09:53 AM | TrackBack