February 17, 2010

THE IMPALER of RED WING MN

He's a 44 yr old vampire ruler holed up in rural MN going by Jonathon the Impaler, he's going to announce his candidacy for governor on the Ides of March, he's in hiding with his 16 year old runaway girlfriend who he met on a vampire forum--whom he just met for the first time 5 days ago. Her mom says she's been brain washed, she says her mom is a abusive bitch, and says she's not being mistreated by the Impaler, which she proved by updating her Facebook page with a picture of her eating pizza. And that doesn't even cover the weird YouTube video and the Impaler's epic vampire treatise in the comments section of the stories: start here and work your way back.

Posted by jessica hopper at February 17, 2010 10:13 AM | TrackBack