September 27, 2009


I think today might be the first time I have felt normal in a month. It feels momentous. Or maybe it's more like 10 weeks? After one thing passes, I think "oh after this, then things will be "normal" but there keeps being an AND THEN lately. I know it's a myth, that the "and then" is stoppable--it's all AND THEN. When I was about 25, I had this idea that if I did certain things perfect, or got my life "arranged" it would become slower and predictable and manageable and then there wouldn't be some much AND THEN AND THEN and I could be on a peaceful mountaintop of life and just spend my time painting pictures of dogs or catching up on old New Yorkers and no one would die or move away or be sick or I would have money and no one would be on crack or mad at me. I thought you could do things to prevent the AND THEN barrage.

I am expecting a promo copy of Andy Williams autobiography in the mail. I want to know his secrets of life management. I want to know what weird existence myth he chased at 25. I want to know what it is like to be the man who did the definitive version of "Moon River" and what he does when he's not doing 2 shows at a day at his theatre in Branson. I imagine he rides around on a golf cart and espouses a theory on the positive health effects of hi-balls.

I made a birthday song for Morgan and a birthday song for Alan this weekend and recorded them. I played them for Matt and he said "You are like a one woman Ween." In my creating dreams, I was more going for Micachu, but after seeing Micachu this weekend, we realized she's really like, way more CRASS then whatever no-fi UK dance wave ppl are roping her into--I am not crafting Penis Envy here, and so maybe Ween is my fate. I cannot help it that my favorite functions of GarageBand is the "Chipmunk" vocal effect and the one that makes you sound like a man?

Posted by jessica hopper at September 27, 2009 02:43 PM | TrackBack