March 26, 2009

IN SUSPECT TERRAIN

>>>update: to enter the contest it's just dirtytourney.com

Miles writes: Just in time for March Madness--and just a little too late for Valentine's Day--a bunch of terrible bands are conducting a terrible contest wherein some assholes from Saliva, Burn Halo, Framing Hanley, and Theory of a Deadman will judge a group of women based on their photographs and short essays they've written about why each one thinks she's the "dirtiest, craziest, sexiest girl around."

Once the judges have determined who's in the initial pool of 64, fans will narrow the field down, bracket-style, via online voting until they've settled on the top two. Then the bands will step back in to pick the "winner," which the awful press release for this piece of ugliness refers to as "the Queen of Unclean." I think the "Unclean" part refers to how women are all whores, but I may not have picked up on some other nuance here.

Miles, unfortunately, doesn't provide a link to where we can all enter, because we all should. I wonder if anyone will enter at all, let alone 64 people to fill out the brackets. I wonder what the guidelines for the essay are, beyond substantiating why you are a breed of crazy slut above the rest. I wonder if you could perhaps write an essay that would so upset and disturb them that it would make them wish they had never signed on to do this?

Posted by jessica hopper at March 26, 2009 11:57 AM | TrackBack