April 30, 2008

WHATCHOOKNOWABOUTTHAT?!

I've been telling people "I've been busy, working at the library a lot" and they assume that I've gotten a job there. I had to change locales, as the two month long re-roofing that's going on above me doesn't give a fuck about my manuscript due date. So. I ride the same route, stay for the same time, pack my 'puter, books and snacks, settle in and give myself permission to move to another room if someone starts barking. Or if the guy that lives in the library saddles up nearby. He mutters "shitmotherfuckshiiiiyatcocksuckerfuckinshiiiyat" non-stop in a low bass voice that rumbles through earplugs. Part of the appeal of the library is being in silence with a bunch of people, all furiously ploughing books, but not everyone abides by that, which is another part of the appeal. The library belongs to everyone.

It is finals week and the reading room is packed with collegiate refugees. Yesterday a ponytailed girl sat down across from me and pushed up the sleeves of her ASU hoodie and suddenly filled the room with the unmistakable smell (stench, really) of her Bath & Bodyworks bodyspray, which brought on flashbacks of every strip club I've ever been to. I wanted to clue her in, slip her a note informing her that B&B Cherry Blossom Splash is eau de lapdance. Instead, I moved to the hall so as not to barf, where the security guard promptlybusted me for eating a banana. (I have a neutral fascination with him. He's a mouth breather with a flat face and weak chin, his cupids bow is so arched that he looks like he's sneering and smelling hot trash at the same time. It is a perculiar face, but lends an air of menace as he makes the rounds, chastising the homeless dudes for sleeping and teens snarfing Chee-Tos. I think he takes a lot of pride in his job, he looks really satisfied pushing in stray chairs. He is very thin and all of his clothes are much too big; he reminds me of when I used to make Kleenex outfits for my paper dolls.) From nowhere he appeared and squatted down so as to make eye contact with me, "Go ahead and finish your banana, but you can't eat in the library. It's cool if you wanna drink water, that's the policy, but when there's food in the library, the librarians get shit and I catch heat too." Classic good cop with a cuss thrown in so I don't think he's "the man". He's just a guy doing his job, and his job is sneaking up on people and their bananas.

Posted by Jessica at April 30, 2008 03:17 PM | TrackBack