March 19, 2008

DIFFIDENCE

Vincennes is the oldest city in Indiana; there now stands a very skateable marble monument on the site of the towns original settlement, Fort Sackville. I took an audio tour of it when I was eight, it lasted only a few minutes. My great-great grandfather settled here in 1847 (post-Sackville, pre-Gimbels Dept Store) from Innsabruck, Germany. His son was a pop bottler of his two own popular brands, Recker's Blood Orange and a brown cola that was like RC meets Dr. Pepper. He had an informal band with his wife, who died around 1923, when her youngest daughter, my grandma, was about five. The nuns and her siblings raised her, as her dad liked to date and party a bit. For fun, the kids used to tie a wallet to fishing line and leave it on the sidewalk and wait in the bushes for someone to stop and pick it up, and then they'd yank the line. She also used to swing on willow branches over the pit in the backyard. Inside the pit--all the broken bottles from her dad's factory. In the tree: treehouse where she learned to smoke. At age four. Rolled her own.

Last night I half slept for half the night in a hospital chair watching my dad hold her hand down so she wouldn't rip her oxygen mask off in her narcotized sleep. We had a talk about the varying degrees of her do not resesitate order. Is the oxygen mask a form of prolonging, or is it helping? It's hard to know, but we will know soon.

Posted by Jessica at March 19, 2008 04:16 PM | TrackBack