October 10, 2007
CORNMAZING
Kelly, her bff California Kelly, Annielaurie and I drove to 90 minutes to DeKalb for the only reason one should go to DeKalb:
Eat some carmel apples and then run through the haunted corn maze.
But not before we stopped at the drugstore for some bug spray. While we were there, I encountered some teenagers and made them pose for a quick pik. Imagine being that girl in the back with the temporary BF who unbeknownst to her is licking her hairdo.
Another highlight was Annielaurie getting a peanut nib up her nose, and Kelly made funny joke about nuts, and it made Annielaurie laugh it out. Look close and you can see the peanut leaving her nose.
Severed head that moans and moves.
Creepy Jonbenet wig.
A rule that they tell you that is not on this sign is that you are not to touch anybody working the haunted maze. I violated this rule, but we didn't get kicked out, thankfully. I bitchslapped a dude in a clown mask; it was a reflex.
Also, it's really hard to see the gorillas working in the parking lot. If you take a lot of pictures, it will scare them away.
If you are a screamer, they will pick on you. Same goes for the Chainsaw Guy. He gets Kelly bad ever year she says. Will chase her through rows and rows of corn. Screaming is good advertising for a haunted corn maze.
It is actually scary and took us a full two hours. We 86'd the map because bullshit that someone actually MOWED a acre-wide portrait of the NIU mascot, a husky dog with tail, into a giant cornfield. The map is a trick. You should really go if you can. It's every weekend until 11/6. Also, if you see a creepy grandpa man pretending to be lost, he's just to distract you from the first chainsaw guy. If you see the grandpa, watch out!