August 16, 2007

HOLY FUDDLE!

Gosh! What a crazy few days! I think it was some sort of astrological k-hole, and I fell right into it! I had terrible food poisoning and barfed my gutz out! NINE TIMES IN A SINGLE DAY! Remember to wash your tomatoes throughly before eating because harmful animal feces might be on them! My gutz got contaminated and I could hardly stand! I passed out at Jane's friends house after I drove her home there and I kept puking and all there was to drink was Diet Coke! I had to drink them to regain my strength! It was brutal! I crawled home (in the car, natch) and in between passing out, I watched Carl Sagan's Cosmos special and when I slept I dreamt of Kathy McGinty (audio is NSFW, unless yr job is manning a gloryhole). I almost went to the hospital, but, because I have air conditioning now, I lived.
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(thanks to Noah and Chris; for I was 'fraid to put it in myself for fear of dropping it on a passing chiuaua). Then the internet broke completely except for for 20 minutes yesterday, when the mystery signal came and went. And then, when I needed it the most, PBS was having a pledge drive and hyperbolically hocking a dvd of a casino band playing along to an Elvis comeback special and all I needed was a little TV so I could bedrest properly to that which wasn't Carl Sagan's brush cut flooming in the Egyptian breeze. I can only take so much red dwarf talk in that rich Saganese. Finally, at night time, The Nightly Business Report came on and I have never been so happy to hear Paul Kangas
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update on the S&P 500.

Now I am staying alive and not barfing. The internet repair man has come and gone, and for good measure and appropros of NOTHIN', assuming I a. didn;t already know (thanks, patriarchy!) and b. actually cared, decided to explain to me how a DSL modem and internet works, in a loud voice, like English is not my first language or like I am at doggie daycare getting trained, with showing me graphs of information on his computer from the foot of my bed , and then SUDDENLY, every time one of the military aircrafts would cruise thunderously overhead (the partment is in the direct flight path for the air and water show), he would HOP upon my bed and crane his face to the window. My sickbed is not a moonbounce, it's a place for me and Carl Sagan's PBS-built intergalatic space craft and my sleeping cats avail ONLY, not for the wholly unwelcome hoppings about of a strange repairman who are shuffling sock-footed around my house. But, for everyone's safety, instead of yelling "PLEASE PUT ON YOUR NEW BALANCES, QUIT TOUCHING MY BED AND GO!" I just said "yes" in my best imitation Kathy McGinty voice until he got the point.
And now peace reigns in the valley.

ANNNNNNNND!

Lastly! But Bestly! And mostly enthusiastically! Happy Birthday to Matt! Totally Missed! All the way in St. Louis and law schooling! 32 with a vengeance and great with dogs! Much love, old birthday face.
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!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Jessica at August 16, 2007 02:20 PM | TrackBack