November 07, 2006

THE RULES OF THE ROAD

1. When you enter the car, and turn the key in the ignition, the song on the radio will be performed by Pink Floyd. It will be off The Wall. It will be approximately half over.

2. When crossing the train tracks, stopped for the train or are between the train tracks and the "Pilgrims" DQ, the song playing will be "The Chain" or "Dreams" off Fleetwood Mac Rumours. You will sing along with the Stevie part. When she sings "Players only love you when they're playin'," you'll be driven to the brink of tears, because gospel truth does that. You will notice all the smoking you've been doing makes your singing voice 4 octaves lower than Stevie, perhaps like a drag queen doing Paul Robeson. You will wonder if dead people you know in heaven can hear how badly you sing and wonder if they are at all embarrassed for you, watching you in this private moment.

3. This will happen without fail everytime you go drive to and from the hospital after 3 pm.

Posted by Jessica at November 7, 2006 01:15 PM | TrackBack