August 17, 2006

SNAP YR NECK


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Questions:

a. Why is her main move jerking so violently as if she is trying to whip her extentions off her head?
b. Doesn't part where Beyonce cries in "Ring the Alarm" make you forget everything you ever liked about Jay-z?
c. Beyonce as startled robot? What is with her stepford-stiff Pussycat Dolls home workout strip for your man bit?
d. Why does every verse Jay drops on B's songs make me wish she was engaged to any other rapper? Verses so bad it'll wipe "Fourty Four Fours" off yr brainplate. Seriously--Special Ed, Common or a fucking Oakridge Boy. Any of them would suffice.

Conclusion: Startled, too thin, lost in the cornfield, trapped in the corner, flagellating herself with her blonde locks--the new Beyonce presented is as a victim. If all B stands to loose if she lets J go to her budget-doppleganger Rihanna is Chinchilla coats, as the song goes, then she needs to let him go. She could buy a chinchilla house, and have a little dignity intact; she should stop dancing in the crops in her Jimmy Choos and get on with it. I hope she goes on Oprah soon and Oprah gives her some what for.

Posted by Jessica at August 17, 2006 11:11 PM | TrackBack