July 18, 2006

REPPING HARD FOR THE LOCAL

As if that Vice guide for Intonation wasn't bad enough (written by someone who hasn;t lived here in three years), the new SPIN has a guide to Chicago that if anyone abided by, save for the recommended stop at Reckless, would believe Chicago was a clean place inhabited only by soused whiteys. I think whomever wrote it actually hates Chicago. I mean, why else would anyone with a modicum of Chicago pride send an out-of-towner to the Pontiac for a good time? I mean, sure, if that personal is a beefy, shirtless dude looking to show of his tribals and nipple peircings to hungover jeep chicks who are turned on by that sort of thing--yes, that is the place to send them, by all means. C'mon, there are at least 80 other bars in the area where you can work on your base tan and drink off last nights bender. Also, why recommend Underdog as one of the five places in town to go to eat?! Everyone knows for dogs you go to Weiner Circle or Hot Dougs, and that you go to Underdog to see a dude in a white hat drop trou and put his nuts to the glass to cheer up his date, who has justed vomited last call into the street. Also, why would anyone recommend a stop at The Apple Store --and not, like...Rainforest Cafe, or Target for that matter? Fuck landmarks, the Sox, nice views or the 150-odd museums--VISIT STORES!

Posted by Jessica at July 18, 2006 07:06 PM | TrackBack