April 06, 2006

JESUS LOVED JUDAS BECAUSE HE KNEW HOW TO FUCK HIM

Judas, vindicated. Imagine the whole world thinking yr Christ's betrayor for thousands of years, but it was really just Jesus' little trick you went along with? Also, what is it about the languishing of bibilcal manuscripts; You'd think all of Eygpt had been dug up enough by now that there'd be no codexes languishing in the sand anymore, or in safes or pig yards. The guy that found the Mary Magdelene gospel in the pot in the desert threw it in his pig pen in the backyard, let it sit outside for years, his mother in law used the pages to light the stove with and finally when he brought it to the flea market someone with some Coptic knowledge was like "Oh shit, dude." and recognized the missing gospels, where we learn that MM was Jesus' ride or die bitch, pardon my parlance. Jesus loved her more than all the disciples combined, and wanted her to lead. Of course, not even the most liberal gnostics were cool with it: "Did He really speak privately with a woman and not openly to us? Are we to turn about and all listen to her? Did He prefer her to us?" says Peter the MM gospels, after Mary lays out the heavy idea that THERE IS NO SIN JESUS TOLD ME SO. Fucking patriarchy, always on our asses.

Posted by Jessica at April 6, 2006 03:34 PM | TrackBack