November 24, 2005


Do you remember your voice as a teenager? Maybe you were on a calm platitude, and yr voice was a sweet even chirp. Today, around my cousin, age 15, I remember well that I was nothing if not a gurgling font of disgusted tone and exaggerated and heaving sighs and snorty scoffs which dappled my sentences like morse code: SOS 16 SUX STOP SEND HELP STOP GOD MOM DO YOU HAVE TO CHEW LIKE THAT STOP I HATE YOU GUYS STOP UGH I CANNOT WAIT TIL I CAN MOVE AWAY FROM HERE FULL STOP. Actually, I think I still talk like that most of the time, though I have managed to stop rolling my eyes with such revolted vigor in the in last year or so. My cousin, her entire emotional economy is built upon embarrassed fluster with her mom and dad, I secretly love watching it. Teenagers are so perfect and raw. We think of them as being fake, putting up a front trying to fit into some teen-peer mold of whatever, but I think--and granted--this is a revelation that came to me after spending 22 says on Warped Tour, mind you--but I think teenagers are so real. They broadcast their awkwardness, they have no choice, all their emotions are on blast. I secretly admire it. We grow up and we learn politeness and we learn that not all of our ideas are the best and we have false humility from having "lived and learned" or whatever. Teenagers are chaos3000, lists of demands, shooting you Firestarter looks ever 13 seconds because everything you do embarrasses them to the core of their being. I LOVE IT. Luv it.

I also love, and am perhaps one of the only people who will say this: I love Cleveland. It's sprawling, half forgotten and brokeny like Chicago, but not so brokedick ugly with gentrification. Cleveland is like the Har Mar Mall of the midwest--no one's going to refurbish it. Ever. It'll just get bulldozed one day, but until then, it's just the $2 movie theatre with no heat, Neon Beach unlimited tans and a halloween store.

Posted by Jessica at November 24, 2005 11:53 PM | TrackBack