November 04, 2005

HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN--"DENIM!"

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(by way of Joan Hiller)

I drove a Ford WhiteThing 253 miles today, cruise controlled 43 miles past Terre Haute. I am here overnight and I packed in a sleep deprived stupor: 16 cds, three books, a box of teas (30+ bags), a sweater, three pairs of underwear, my ipod (the car has a cd player), a 6.5 hour audio book-- the unabridged Things Fall Apart read by a man with an announcer voice who pronounces every word like it begins with a capital letter ( I would rather listen to it read by a Univision announcer who yelled GOOOOOAAAAAALLLLL at the end of every sentence.). And all I did was listen to Kanye like 6 times then Catholic Radio call-in shows, fantasizing what horrifying questions I could call in with, queries about how to best evangalize to a fetus. "Mark in Houston" called in with advice about a problem he's running into when evangelizing to his Protestant pals, and they tell him you know, they go to Protestant Church because it makes them happy and they feel engaged and they like it -- what is a good come back to that? What do you say to that, queried Mark. The host's response was so sure : "Well, remind them that this is not about "their feelings." It's about abiding by the one true church and building the Body of Christ. It's about following the dictum of Church law, not about "feeling good." He was really down on Christian plurality, and made sure to add that Mark could remind his Protestant friends to consider that only good Catholics are going to heaven. Yeah dude, great comeback, A++ for "winning solutions" . After three hyperbolic bible-jargony pro-fetal right commericals (advocating women set aside their concerns and "get out of the fetus' way") and a "special word from Deacon Crustmueller" -- The next caller's prob was that her teenage step daughter was dating a Messianic Jew, and the caller was goading the host to try and agree with her that Messianic Jews were, actually, in fact, haters of Christ. I lost the signal before his answer.

Posted by Jessica at November 4, 2005 01:15 AM | TrackBack