August 02, 2005

"ONLY FOR THE GROWN AN' SEXY"

This is what Maseo kept saying, over every song. Asking all the grown and sexy ladies over 25 to "please holla" - it was the humpty-hump afterparty for the De La/Common/J Legend show - and Miles was on the list plus four, cos he is Miles, but he only rolled up plus me, so my compliments on his refined taste. The guy that gave him the plus four is a local party promoter, who was at the door when we arrived, yelling over Maseo's All Native Tongue All Night set, to the hot/young/sparkled-up guest-list holding door girl "YOU WANT ME TO EAT YOUR PUSSY?! (makes exacting hand/face motions indicating his ability to do such a thing) I'LL BITE IT! YOW!". The pussy-biting promoter turns to us, yelling over "Award Tour" at max. decibels "OH, YOU KNOW HOW IT IS!" and bro-hugs Miles. Does Miles really know, though? I doubt Miles' bosses have ever yelled to him, in front of seven other people, an offer to bite him in the bitch area . You know?

But. This is not important. What was important is that Maseo spun nothing but Jungle Bros and De La and Tribe for 40 minutes, announcing when Lil' Mo, Pos and whomever else arrived, into "the house". Then then, better than the Q-tip hitz blitz was a set of songs for the lover in you - only for the "grown n' sexy" - down disco soul -- and the get-you-pregnant / lotion tracks so real: the NY-borough equiv of Chicago Steppers sets. Miles mostly sat that shiz out, but I danced and then danced some more and I think I could dance into infinity and please, someone, if I ever am on my death bed in the ward, sign me up for some "Maseo DJ Visit" from Make-A-Wish. I can totes still pass for 13, so it's not really scamming.

When I was finally done dancing and had perspired half my body weight into my clothing, I found Miles, who was with the pussy-biter-yeller. Ol' Yeller gave us free drinks, which is good, because water is FIVE WHOLE DOLLARS at the bumpin' club. I saved the giant glass bottle it came in, I might be able to redeem a few of them for a gold brick.

Posted by Jessica at August 2, 2005 12:55 PM | TrackBack