July 24, 2005


North CackalacK; Sunday at the Co-Op 216 Hillsborough in the Chapel Hill/Carrboro zone, 9 pm, after the skillshare-festivus, we will rock you with words

Where to start? Al said 2 days ago the only thing that would make Best tour Ever truly complete was dancing. And what has the last two days been? Dancing. Sweating, crunkylating in the streets of towns that are not our own that throw the doors open wide and say "Jam on it" (or maybe they are saying "It's time for the Perc-u-later!" ala Casjmere). I am glad the dancing beats are loud, cos my tinnitus is at a low boil from hours of driving with the windows open and listening to Bad Brains kinda too loud. But like, really, who listens to Bad Brains quiet? You can't. Anyhow, Baltimore is a nice place, despite what everyone will tell you. I mean, the 5 hours we were there, I ate crepes 3 times, danced to some latin/salsa house in the street with thousands of Charm Citiers ( I got footage of Al dancing and older ladies starring at him like a plate of ribs/ in horror), I saw Morris Day and The Time ( replete with signing / ASL interpreter doing "Fishnet!/BlackPantyhose!"), Al and I ate a sno-cone that came in a little bucket - about 3-4 lbs of shaved ice and we ate it down all the way til it was just syrup, I bought the best-horrible hat at a Baltimore graf exhibit that has "QUICKIE" tagged on the front hot pink, it was too hot to read in the art center, so we read on the street, 40 kids sat in the drive way and on the steps and folding chairs on the sidewalk and we yelled over busses and old couples and babies and dogs all walking to see the streetfair. Sadly, we missed Boyz II Men, who were playing the same time we were reading. Then, as we were walking to leave, Al climbed on the overpass ledge, lifted his skinny fists to heaven and yelled "BALTIMORE!!!" in grateful salutation.

Drove through the night, got a room at a truck stop, and though it was 4am, we stayed up and watched most of a movie whcih I do not know the name of but it was a Porky's style gross out sex farce revolving around a wedding and it featured Eugene Levy and ugly K-list actors who had never been in a movie before. It was horrifying, but really great: pubic hair on a wedding cake is always a winning gag as far as I am concerned. Drove into Chapel Hill, sat at Weaver Street Market drinking tea and filling out the info for tomorrows show on our fliers. Walked around stapling them up, every third car yelling "Al!" as it drove past. Stopped at the thrift shop to buy dress to wear to Ben Davis' wedding reception, walked out with two trash bags full of dresses. Changed in the bathroom of the supermarket, went to reception rumbled, and still we were overdressed. Punk weddings in July = everyone was wearing t shirts and dickies. Ate an entire plate of nothing but Watergate salad (jello squares and pink cool whip), danced shoeless in the dirt for 2-3 hours. Met 3 kids under the age of five who are in bands with their parents, including Spencer, who I interviewed, who told me "My dad will tell you I listen to like, 100 bands, but really, I only am into Thin Lizzy." Spence's band is called The Lions, so keep an eye out. Danced. Bounced in the inflateable bouncey room Moon Bounce. Danced. Also dancing: Mac from Superchunk, throwing 'bows to Beyonce and Amerie. Ate more Watergate Salad. Now, back at the most magnifie-cent farmhouse in the country, crcikets and frogs droning out my tinnitus-din, meanwhile, our hosts are baking us cookies.

I am wondering, if I find a way to stay on this reading tour for forever, will it stay this good? When I get home Tuesday, does the best-ness continue - or does it only exist when I am 1400 miles from home and living out of the trunk of my Toyota?

Posted by Jessica at July 24, 2005 02:08 AM | TrackBack