February 26, 2005

IN LIFE AND DEATH & LIFE BEYOND DEATH FOREVER AND EVER AMEN

The 409 mile drive is over. It was pitiful, my temprature is roasting my eyes balls to a Bacos™ like substance, and I fear my sight shall soon be taken. No medicines but god's grace were availed to me, due to my long journey. There is nothing like spitting phlegm out the window of my wagon and having it fly back into mine own pigtail at 70 mph. I stopped for a spell, to rest and program my iPod in the Burger King parking lot in Elk Mound, WI, and would of wilted on the spot, if I had not been awaken by a team of nine snowmobiling young men pulling through the BK drive thru, gunning their engines, their machines grinding against the snowless parking lot cement, the young men carrying on and ordering combos meals.

Alas, I am home, and I am just blogging to wish the world a final salud, or maybe suggest, if you have one to spare, you send for one of the giant Swiss Mountainering dogs with the little barrel round it's neck (no alcohol please, I prefer tea) to come and lick my face a bit while I slowly expire in some grand dramatic fashion, from the worst flu of my pitiful young life. If you live nearby, I suggest you come over, and whatever pox I got be damned, brush the sweaty bangs of my bad haircut from my face, and sob in to my limp white palm and curse god loudly, after a solemn hymn of "Leaning On The Everlasting Arms". Bonus points for anyone willing to vow to avenge my death, same goes for anyone bearing"ointment from the doc" to bring me a bit of relief as my time draws near.

Posted by Jessica at February 26, 2005 08:22 PM | TrackBack