November 08, 2004

"WHEN EMO IS OUTLAWED, ONLY RICH HONKEYS WILL HAVE EMO"

That is the precient (sp?) quote of one Mr. Josh Hooten, who wrote it in the pages of Hit it or Quit it in 1997. When I smoke on the porch, I am surrounded by the remaining issues of back stock that exist, and despite that nostalgia makes me want to go my own eyes with a melon-scooper, sometimes I look at them. And I'm instantly reminded about what a genius/cocky and stupid / cruel, cruel yet hysterical/ still genius again magazine we used to make. I was the main catalyst in the cocky/cruel ingredient.

People ask me "Why you no do that magazine much anymore?" - Tis easily blamed on that most of the editorial staff getting laid on a regular basis, that Chris only cares about Basketball, JR only cares about baseball and reggae, Doug is in the computer-zone ether, Sean is busy Har_Marring, and me... I'm paralyzed by the patriarchy. Julianne, dear womany J-Shep, she routinely turned in features and the like despite no deadline even being anchored. Julianne is the best editor we ever had. She edits despite their being no publication. Clap, clap, mon ami.

(PS: UPDATE on the shit hitting the fan
I stood in the alley, and in front of the house, like the ad said. I could not hear anything. I took off my bonnet and I heard a plane and mice and leaves and assorted tinnitus of nature. I did not hear "Eve of Destruction" like the paper suggested I would.)

Lastly, I offer this, on the topic of magazines, the futility, the evility, the silent gender war in it's pages: Friends who are in more of a joking mood than I, since that motherfucking fake out of an election last week, they say "The best punk records got made during Republican, oppressive administrations. Hardcore/Punk will get good again as a result, get polticized and get liberated and blah blah blah blah etc, " and then we kind of titter and complain about something else. But, upon examination of today's mail, I got no proof. I get no proof of much of anything other than I am still right about emo, and that no wonder no girls want into punk rock: Most every magazine tells us "you are invisible. This, this is about us, babe..."

(Like, for real, I know, punk rock gender war is real small stakes in comparison to the fact that 15,000 boy kids from this country are trying out a little untender apocolypse on command on a few thousand insurgent humans and civilian humans in Fallujah right this instant. Lets just give over to the fact that I cry a lot more often about that war than the home-turf one being faught in the trenches of the Punk Planet letters section.)

That said -- a quick examination of today's mail.
(Secondary note: I have friends at most of these magazines. There is part of me that wants to declare "no offence" and insist I understand capitalist constructs and babies that need diapers and making a living, but hey, they know whats up, as well as I do.)


LAW OF INERTIA
First page featuring a band with a woman: none - reviews section only
Page where a woman speaks in first person: none.
Total number of features of bands with women: none
number of women on editorial staff: one

SENTIMENTALIST
First page featuring a band with a woman:6
Page where a woman speaks in first person: 29 ( sahara hotnights)
Total number of features of bands with women: five
total page count: 64
number of women on editorial staff: 2 out of 3 are female

REVOLVER
First page featuring a band with a woman:10 (donnas)
Page where a woman speaks in first person: 50 ( nightwish)
Total number of features of bands with women: two
number of bands featuring women listed in 50 heaviest bands of all time special: 1 (swans) (2 if you count black flag)
number of women on editorial staff: 5 out of 11 are female

ALTERNATIVE PRESS
First page featuring a band with a woman: Page 52
Page where a woman speaks in first person: Page 74 ( celloist for Murder By Death, talking about her favorite movie)
Number of women feature in drumming special section: none
Number of pictures of women that are not advertisements: seven
Total number of features of bands with women: two
number of women on editorial staff: 1
Total page count: 175


RESONANCE
First page featuring a band with a woman: cover ( le tigre)
Page where a woman speaks in first person: 18 ( iqu)
Total number of features of bands with women: nine
number of women on editorial staff: 3 out of 8 are female

Posted by Jessica at November 8, 2004 11:14 PM | TrackBack