April 09, 2004

Strong enough for a man, but made for Pharrell

The most surprising thing about the N*E*R*D show tonight was not how bad it was but something else entirely. During the last song, the mosh-rap anthem for the Olsen twin fanbase drunk on 3.2 beer, "Lapdance" - Pharrell removed his shirt -- which garned the most enthusiastic audience responce of the night. He then lifted his arms, and there lies the shocker: he had on so much deoderant, it looked like he had decorated his armpit hair with Betty Crocker vanilla cake frosting straight from the tub. It was disconcerting. I wondered why he was so concerned about sweating, since he did not break a sweat the entire night despite the stage lights and his penchant for dancing like Molly Ringwald in Breakfast Club.

Then, (then!) about 3/5ths of the way through the song, a big man entered stage right, and deposited bling ropes that were equal in value to the annual GNP of Ghana around Pharrell's neck. I am not sure why this happened, maybe the guy got tired of holding them, maybe his ride was leaving, maybe Pharrell felt like the diamond ring so big it would be visible in CIA aerial photos was not enough to remind us just where the 22.50$ we just spent is going. "The heat of capitalism keeps me warm, young. I need no shirt." says his look.

Pharrell then walked over to the picnic table set dressing, got atop it, gave us the V-sign with his hand, which was then given back to him by all 3200 white kids on date night in attendance, then raised his arms, giving us a prolonged glare of his Santafied pits. It's kind of the last thing you expect from someone who's being diefied, who emits stardom like a laser beam when he is on the TV, someone with an intractable cool to them. It was humanizing. Which, when added to the microwaved reducion sauce that is the NERD live show featuring the chicken neck funk and goofball rhtyhm section of average white band, Spymob, well, it took him from the mega-star notch to coolest boy in 11th grade levels.

Also, Happy Birthday to Yes guitarist Steve Howe , who is celebrating his 106th birthday today. Keep on riffin' buddy.

Posted by Jessica at April 9, 2004 12:37 AM | TrackBack

Have you ever seen the MTV Unplugged with LL Cool J? I bet Pharrel was paying tribute to Uncle L? Or not.

Posted by: James at April 9, 2004 02:27 PM

Hey Jessica, you're right that NERD sucked, though BEPs were great fun. However, that was one of the more racially integrated shows I've seen since, hmm, Linkin Park. Black, white, Asian, Latino, all representing. Representing people who will cheer for a shitty show, perhaps, but representing all the same.

Posted by: Josh in Chicago at April 9, 2004 02:30 PM

My blog is racially diverse, check it out

Posted by: jacksonbrowne at April 9, 2004 03:51 PM

come on, jackie, why we gotta make it like that.

Posted by: goodwillsidis at April 9, 2004 06:05 PM

make it like what? seriously I don't know what you mean.

Posted by: jacksonbrowne at April 10, 2004 02:09 PM

"However, that was one of the more racially integrated shows I've seen since"

my comment was directed at this above comment

Posted by: jacksonbrowne at April 10, 2004 02:12 PM

aw come on man, you know.

Posted by: goodwillsidis at April 11, 2004 01:39 PM

No actually I have no idea what you mean. Honestly. What do you mean? Make it like what? I'm not beefing. I can make guesses what you might mean, but the only thing I meant by my thing was a joke based on the above person's comment. I don't have any idea what you're assuming I meant. Really. What did you assume I meant by that? It would be enlightening to know. Its also sorta annoying that you're just assuming I must have meant what you assume I meant, if you must know.

Posted by: jacksonbrowne at April 11, 2004 03:11 PM

Also now that "we're" talking about "us" whats with this "aw come on man" stuff, and this "why we gotta make it like that" stuff? If we're somehow a "we" than don't you think its respectful to listen to me when I say I meant what I said as a joke about the comment above me?

Posted by: jacksonbrowne at April 11, 2004 03:17 PM

dude chill. I'm just trying to say the thing without actually SAYING. you know, the thing. about how if the non-sequitor bsp keeps a-sprouting, it's gonna totally spread bummer sauce all over the scenery.

Posted by: goodwillsidis at April 12, 2004 01:25 AM

oh ok yeah you're right sorry you thought i was spouting non sequitar bs

Posted by: jacksonbrowne at April 12, 2004 02:45 PM

although......was I talking bullshit? I thought I was joking around. anyway......hard to tell maybe I've worn out my welcome here

Posted by: jacksonbrowne at April 12, 2004 08:49 PM

DUDE. bsp. blatant self-promotion.

Posted by: goodwillsidis at April 20, 2004 09:18 PM

what's with the N.E.R.D. hate? did i click on to pitchfork by mistake?

Posted by: travis at April 23, 2004 08:57 PM

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Posted by: play blackjack at August 16, 2004 05:24 PM

hey, does anyone have pic's off pharrell williams necktatoo?


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Posted by: Codeine at October 28, 2004 09:54 AM

I think all you that are hatin on N.E.R.D are just hatin cause they got everything you want. no matter what they do there will always be people hatin and knockin on them only cause of who they are. Hatin them cause you AINT NONE OF THEM!
When N.E.R.D does something that people donít necessarily understand, theyíre going to make it into a bigger problem than they would for anybody else because one of the most amazing talents thatís ever lived. they've accomplished and achieved more in this century than most other men.
~~~*I LOVE N.E.R.D!*~~~

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