March 30, 2004

Listen girl / I ain't saying you're helpless...

Here at Casa Hopper, we are celebrating Holy Week by taking the plastic off the windows, and trying to pry the windows open. We discovered last week that in fact the man at the Ace hardware sold us the wrong kind of seal n' peel caulking and that like an ass-hat, we have sealed our own windows with some permanance and now spend warmer mornings with our sharpest knife, contemplating and braying at the windows.

We are also celebrating Holy Week by listening to Prince all day every day since Saturday 11 am CST. (Yesterday there was about two hours from our favorite Black Panther and Chicagoan Chaka Khan's 1978 alb Chaka ), but as of 9:04 am this morning, we were listening to Prince again, in love with the whole world, wearing stripes and argyles together, brushing the teeth and hoping the neighboor likes to hear "Little Red Corvette" this loud this early.

Which brings us to the meat of our post: If you went on a "date" and were about to hook up with a girl and discovered that in her pockets, she had a bunch of condoms, some of them USED, what would you do? How would something like that make you feel?
Please post your answers below.

I mean, if I was hanging out with a dude and he had a bunch of used condoms in his pockets, I am not sure what I would do about that. I mean, thats straight up disgusting in a Howard Hughes-ian way, but it's also super-funny.

After reading this , you will be pulling out all your Prince records as well. You will miss Minneapolis even though you never lived there. P.S. My mom edited it. Full disclosure and props are a must, now that mom is reading the blog. Secondarily, props to Sasha for making me see that it's a terrible thing not to share your blog with your parents.

Posted by Jessica at March 30, 2004 10:02 AM | TrackBack
Comments

wait, who the hell keeps used condoms in their pocket? That's kind of ew-y regardless of gender.

Posted by: O-Deeznibbles at March 30, 2004 11:02 AM

First, I would tell him to wash his hands. Second, I would tell him to get on one knee and beg for my forgiveness. Then I would jack his car, come pick you up, and we would ride around playing only the Salt 'n' Pepa songs that influenced El-P, Steely Dan AJA, and "spanish flea" really loud, while I made the smushed up bawling/laughing gasface, and you alternately handed me kleenex, and played video games on his x-box (because if his game that tyte, he definitely has an x-box in his vehicle). Then we would sell the car and use the money to go to college.

Posted by: frosty face at March 30, 2004 11:38 AM

I think the point of the song is to bring that question to mind... Prince's whole deal is this conflict between his old-fashioned traditional Christian chauvanism vs. liking hot slutty chicks in red Corvettes, raspberry berets, and possibly masturbating with magazines... When he's not riffing on that "love 'em and leave 'em fast" theme, he's all "if I was your girlfriend would u share your secrets with me" and wanting commitment.

My parents bought me the soundtrack for Purple Rain when I was 9 years old as an Easter present because they wanted me to be exposed to more black culture. When we sat down to listen to it as a family, the scene could have been a poster for Tipper's sticker campaign... I think my mom went into a seizure on the spot and my dad had steam shooting out of his ears after the 2nd verse of Darling Nikki. I was hooked for life.

Oh and the synthesizer solo on "Head" still puts anything by Jan Hammer, Keith Emerson, or David Paiche to shame, shame, shame. Mofo can play 57 instruments well enough for his own quality control. I don't care how shitty his recent records are, that dude belongs in the Hall of Fame for reals.

Posted by: Touchy Mr. INF at March 30, 2004 01:00 PM

I would run to the hills faster than Bruce Dickinson improved Iron Maiden.

Posted by: peterlaughner at March 30, 2004 01:03 PM

Um, obviously Prince isn't saying there are loose, spermed-up rubbers in this girl's pocket. There's maybe empty wrappers, dudes. Trust me on this, you are totally bananas if you think he meant that Little Red Corvette keeps literal used condoms on her.

Posted by: goodwillsidis at March 30, 2004 01:51 PM

HE SAYS SOME OF THEM USED.
HE DOES NOT SAY EMPTY WRAPPERS.
HE SAYS "TROJANS....SOME OF THEM USED".
HE DARES US TO THINK OF THE IMPLICATIONS. HE ASKS US "DO YOU FUCK SLUTS? DO YOU CARE? DOES THIS MATTER? DOES SLUTTINESS MATTER TO YOU? DO YOU CARE WHERE SHE HAS BEEN? BECAUSE I DON'T."
It's the most European thing that someone who lives in Chanhassen, MN could do, really.

I must really get back to my piano, but I have enjoyed this lively discussion.

Posted by: Marianne McPartland at March 30, 2004 02:12 PM

Prince is inane titillation for the mean and unimaginative.

Posted by: Chad Newsworthy at March 30, 2004 03:24 PM

Yeah I don't think anyone in the world is going to be ok with USED condoms as in, used.

Ok I was trying to comment but this guy, who is white, is in the library talking to the woman next to me, who is a grown person, as if he is the biggest thing in the world and she is a child. He is a big a$$ idiot and I am really pissed right now.

Posted by: jackson browne at March 30, 2004 03:54 PM

Ok I have recovered some of my equamnity now that the idiot has left. It started because the woman had a food package on the table, which she was not eating, but the guy asked her if she was eating it, which she obviously wasn't, and then she objcted to his tone, and he became "super-patro" dude. And then as he helped her with the printing, which is his job, he was talking like a jackass the whole time.

Anyway, as to having condoms in the pocket I agree with Marianne. Knowing a woman who is a Prince fan and also is sexually active and empowered about it, there were moments that my social conditioning gave me pause, and I considered whether I was wrong to not be feeling ill-at-east about her empowered self, but then I realized that this social conditioning was bogus and I didn't agree with it. I'm not upset about her having condoms around, or other indications of her having had sex.

Damn I couldn't stop myself and I told the guy off and now he's telling me I'm not involved in the situation. Wonder if I'll be banned from the library.

Posted by: jb at March 30, 2004 04:08 PM

Marianne McPartland, why are you e-yelling?

It's a *song*, not an essay. Or a chapter from Levitcus. Words are not bound to the same rules we use when speaking them. Singers fudge for meter, euphony, and singability. Insisting that Prince DEFINITELY MUST NECESSARILY mean spermed-up rubbers are in this girls pocket is gross and totally Rumsfeld-ian. Insinuating that there are actual semeny condoms in the chick's pocket is a better lyric than talking about the wrappers, but that doesn't mean Prince is saying he's ever actually encountered some loaded weenerhose in anybody's pockets, or that he wouldn't think it was sicko if he did.

Posted by: at March 30, 2004 07:59 PM

Marianne McPartland, why are you e-yelling?

It's a *song*, not an essay. Or a chapter from Levitcus. Words are not bound to the same rules we use when speaking them. Singers fudge for meter, euphony, and singability. Insisting that Prince DEFINITELY MUST NECESSARILY mean spermed-up rubbers are in this girls pocket is gross and totally Rumsfeld-ian. Insinuating that there are actual semeny condoms in the chick's pocket is a better lyric than talking about the wrappers, but that doesn't mean Prince is saying he's ever actually encountered some loaded weenerhose in anybody's pockets, or that he wouldn't think it was sicko if he did.

Posted by: goodwillsidis at March 30, 2004 08:00 PM

isn't Prince mixed ethnically? polyculturalism. at first i was like, yeah stick it to the person from minneapolis but then, what does minneapolis have to do with interpretting this lyric:

"I guess I must be dumb
ícuz u had a pocket full of horses
Trojan and some of them used"

i'm not sure but do non europeans all intepret this lyric in the same way? is it something in our water? polyculturalism doesn't ignore priviledge but it dmystifies authenticity, in short, who is authentic and to what?

btw, i was talking to a guy from mogdishu a couple weeks ago and he was saying there's many somalis in minnepolis. he also said mogdishu was a very nice place to live until the 90's, when things started to change for some reason. i don't think he told me the reason, but the main point of that was that mogdishu was a nice place and not "ravaged by war lords". also, the way to say mogdishu is mogdishu, and not moGAdishu

Posted by: jacksonbrowne at March 31, 2004 11:23 AM

I think that if I found used rubbers in a my date's pocket I'd first wonder, "How pissed would she be if she knew I was going through her pockets?"

Then I'd wonder, "Why in the hell does she have used rubbers in her pocket?"

Then I'd decide, "At least she uses rubbers."

Then I'd really wanna know, "If we have sex, is she gonna want my used rubber afterwards?"

Then I'd think, with a hopeful grin on my face, "That'd be really cool if she did."

ps: I loved that Prince insert from the strib

Posted by: James at March 31, 2004 11:55 AM

::digs around for Rufus record::

Nice Prin article. There was some excellent stuff in the City Pages of yore, like 1982 when I was in 8th grade, that was just total mindblowing shit. I wish I could remember who wrote it.

Posted by: Lisa B-K at April 2, 2004 09:31 AM

For some reason I think I've always assumed they were in the glove compartment.

Incidentally he skipped over that line when he did his acoustic rendition on Monday.

Posted by: Jay Smooth at April 2, 2004 11:46 AM

Good Point. Anyways, this was where i met her. You can join for free as well www.redtricircle.com

Posted by: click here at March 12, 2005 03:51 AM
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