October 08, 2003

Return of the Rat

Dear invisible interneat magic Diary,
Last night, Nathan and I were out bike riding because of the 81 degreee heatwave that happened last night. And Nathan, being the hot Protestant Samaritan he is made me dinner and then we found out that Joe Proulx was sick, and so we took the Nathan-made dinner to Joe, via bike. When I ride my bike I normally like to sing aloud: Rudolph the red Nose Reindeer (my favorite song - very hooky and memorable), a song that I think is the national anthem of America (it has a line about "Amber Waves of Grain") -- but I am not sure because I don't watch sports and went to a Montessori school where we learned Russian instead... but I made up a song about the immenent CHICAGO RAT INVASION of 2004.
It goes:
RAT INVASION!
RAT INVASION!
RAT INVASION!
WE're gonna have a Rat Invasion!
( thats just the chorus, because each verse is made up, and Invasion is rhymed with asian, persusion, abrasion etc...)
PBS and NPR told me that with 'this heat' the Rat's will come and INVADE OUR CITY, because the city trash haulers and the trash truck workers can;t settle a strike... Eight days of Trash is not a big deal to me, but, alas, I am not a chinese resturant with 77 lbs of half eaten eggrolls a-piling up.
I will say this: The Rat Invasion fascinates me.
I imagine some super signal, perhaps a great fetid stench is sent out to all rat hovels, nationwide and the rats grab thier little rat coats, or capes or shoes (think Secret of Nymh) and run, run, run full speed -- we know they will be here by Friday, which makes me think that they left Monday and are all scurrying To Chicago, under the cloak of night. Stopping only to eat a snack of melted plastic or a sewer-soaked cheetoe. And upon sun up on Friday... the whole city is like Willard. Or was it Ben. (lets say Ben, because Michael Jackson did that great song for the soundtrack.) ... Just, like, you cannot walk outside the house because Rats try and crawl up yr pant leg and stuff, Rats coming down in parachutes. Tactical forces plotting for maximum trash gnawing.
Thats what I think when I think of the Rat Invasion.

Posted by Jessica at October 8, 2003 06:19 PM | TrackBack
Comments

I wish the Chicago Rat invasion '04 would echo the "Food of the Gods" scene when the giant rats eat that poor man right out the top of his fancy jeep and stuff.

Nothing going on in the year 2000
Nothing fun in 2001
Things turned to poo in 2002
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2004 looked like a bore until...

Rat invasion
Rat invasion
We gonna have a Rat Invasion!

Posted by: Nathan at October 8, 2003 09:23 PM

Pooky protection is vital at a time like this. I warned Jessica and warn you all - guard your pooky with your life. Rats are pooky crazy and will seek pooky even if there are aging egg rolls rotting nearby. I know.

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