tinyluckygenius aka the Unicorn's tear

SUPPED BY STUFFED PUPS

Last night was epic! I was alone, in the residential area wilderness. I went to see someone play on the wrong night and wound up in a parking lot watching an 19 minute set amazing band behind an art space that was half way out to the airport. The way back was something I neglected to figure out. It was kind of Natty Gann (sans wolf companion) meets The Warriors. I walked a long way and caught a bus that would take me nearish to my temporary home (11th floor of the Sheraton, wassup!). I got off two blocks before my stop because I saw a bunch of cool kids hanging out and thought I might like to know whats poppin' in this parking lot and BEHOLD it was the HoZac showcase I meant to go to. A fortuitous turn. Maje adventure at every turn of the turn!

Then this morning, I woke up before the sun was up, spackled my face and walked to the Fox 7 studios for "Good Day, Austin" and I was on after the call in segment with a vet who answered a question about whether a dog eating too much grass is whats causing it's bout of BLOODY DIARRHEA. If my dog was shitting blood, I would take it to a doctor, not call the TV vet at 7:15 am. The weather man co-anchored that segment with a pug dog sitting on his lap. I tried to talk them into letting me hold the pug for the next segment but they said no.

ME AND THE LONESOME BLUES COLLIDE

Matt says he is jealous because now that I am a preggo, I get to pre-board the plane.

I bought a natural pregnancy guide book a friend suggested and it has a quote from Dune in it and said "Now, in your fifth month you will start to finally look pregnant" which is a real boggler of my mind. I no longer believe anything in the book as I have looked pregnant for the last 4 months and have been exclusively in "soft pants" for 3. I look like a cartoon, waddling with my hand on my back hip, though that's really just to try and press a bone back into place. I swear the sweet nameless dude in me kicked it out of place. I made Matt check to see it was not jutting from my hip like some heinous injury in a skate video. Like baby Ricky in Ricky right before his chickeny wing comes from his back. That would be kind of amazing, if I was knocked up and growing a wing out of the top of my butt, too.

Everyone says boys are supposed to invigorate you and clear up your skin with all their testosterone, but there is a boob-sized zit on my face and I am devigorated and I want to sleep like the bears in the "Bears of the Artic" episode of Nature (narrated by F. Murray Abraham). Polar bears just lay down in the snow and wait for it to cover them and then they sleep til they give birth around Christmas time and their baby bears only come out ONE POUND BIG. And they wrap around the little bear and nurse til it's springtime and then they dig out. Maybe I will just lay down and pile some laundry atop me, with a little space round the head so I am audible when I beg for snacks. I will rest and contemplate that there is someone with a penis who lives in me who is a stranger now but will be the center of my life from here on out.

Tomorrow I get to go to Austin and see almost everyone I know. That will be nice. I am lonely from being home puking all winter. And I will see them and we will be wearing t shirts and no coats at all. I am doing live TV at dawn--Good Morning Austin at 7:30 am on Thursday--in case you are awake with an infant or unable to sleep because the amount of cocaine you've done.

The man that cuts my hair told me a story about his sister going to SXSW last year and a drunk older man grabbed her ass and wouldn't let ago and she jerked around and started yelling at him and he wouldn't let go, and she turned back around and only then did she notice that he was totally naked and somehow had a stick coming out of his ass. Like an un-small branch. I hope that doesn't happen to me. Or anyone. Unless they want it to.

TEEN TAMPA

Dominique Young Unique single "SHOW MY ASS" is killing. BUMP BUMP BUMP.

and in/of the Pacific Northwest--THEE Satisfaction, for the Badu fans in the at home audience. Black intergalactic feminist (queer?) rapz, just the way you dreamed.
download their mixtape here.

THE HERZOG/R KELLY CONNECTION

The Netflix recommendation algorithm is getting super meta connecting the pathos of Herzog's most depressing film with Trapped in the Closet.

WEINERS CIRCLE

One of the hard parts of being pregnant is convincing your man to go buy you a Chicago Style hot dog with everything on it when you have not eaten a hot dog of meat in like, a decade.

You have to wait until he is at the very tail end of doing his homework and is fatigued and also hungry himself. It also involves convincing him that it's ok for a fetus to secondarily ingest a hot dog.

I hear him dailing his phone in the other room to see where is open. I think I just made it happen.

YES!

WHAT IS NEW IS OLD AGAIN, OR STILL.

This weeks Gossip Wolf: Lots of old bands that will not die, and "more"!

also:

Yesterday, walking down the street, JR was looking at where all the snow had melted and revealed the turds that had been preserved like artifacts underneath.He did not take notice of all the toddler and little kids coming past us with their parents and loudly proclaimed "JEEZUS! WHOSE BEEN LETTING THEIR PONY OUT TO SHIT HERE?!" and I laughed so hard and the little kiddos just stared. THIS MEANS IT'S SPRING.

We did our first radio show together yesterday. I will post it here once it's podcastibly listenable or downloadable. We really wanted to just do some renegade pledge drive pitching, offering rewards only we could bestow--perhaps some erotic fiction about Linda Worthheimer that JR could pen?--but the Vocalo people said that WBEZ just gives them their money, the do not have to shill. We also tried to do the weather a couple times but they kept surprising us and asking for the weather when we weren't expecting, so the reports were casual and unscientific. I think going forward, we will go in prepared. We will know dewpoints.

Next week is SXSW. I am doing book events. Do you know cool 11 yr old chix in Austin who are burgeoning rockers? WILL YOU TELL THEM TO COME? Please?
3/20 at Domy's Books at 3 pm!
all ages and free.

PG / POST GRRRL

Some cool chix are launching a post riot girl zine, seeking open submissions for life now and legacies of then, it is all-ages and trans inclusive.

SONIC YOUTH

Look everyone--it's my son.
Here he is, in repose.
It took them a long time to get the shot, he was wiggling like a fish and twisting his head. I told the lady I had recently drank a root beer and she said that would explain it. After seeing him flop around in his sac like that I thought I am never drinking a whole root beer at once ever again until he is out, because it makes him freak out and ram his one-inch soft skull in to the walls of his house and throw punches above his head, like a tormented suburban punker in some bad 1983 film where Lee Ving has a cameo as a sadistic gang leader.

When we went in, on the forms to fill out for the ultrasound, it said "Are you here because of a non-work related accident?" And I told the nurse, well, in a matter of speaking, yes--but she didn't get it.

My favorite thing about the picture he looks just like his dad. Matt doesn't believe me, but also he doesn't get to see himself asleep so how would he know. Our son will be a Leo--just like his dad, too. But, mostly I just think how much I will love to look at our baby and see in his face the face of his father.

RIDIN DIRTY

Dustdevils unreleased final recording session now sees the light of day on Free Music Archive.

DIALING FOR SCENE REPORTS

Next Weds, JR and I are on Vocalo radio promoting Gossipwolf, and we will be dialing for music news/info/gossip/scene reports. If you have some news about your band, label, scene, whats going on where you are and will be near a phone at 3 CST Weds, we'd like to talk to you for a minute or two. It'll be super fun. To volunteer:
showusyrtips@gmail.com

LA DE DA

Here's this week's Gossipwolf. JR and I are doing a radio version on vocalo (vocalo.org) next weds, as a one off thing, which I think is going to be heavily strange. We are going to be dialing for gossip reports--perhaps we will call you?!

I woke up in at four am last night and my brain was on fire with writing. It is hard to know if it was salient at all. I kept thinking, as I always do, if I get up and write this all out, then tomorrow I will automatically wake up at this same time and perhaps there will be nothing to write down. And then I lay there for a while debating "what if this is the best idea I have ever had and I lose it to the annals of slumber?" And then I had a nightmare about Lucky Dragons coming with me to Old Navy to buy maternity pants and Sara peeing on the floor of the childrens section. I yelled at her that the whole world isn't just some big art installation of her design. I assumed it was a statement of her feelings about Old Navy, but then Luke told me she really just had some weird medical problem, and I felt horrible. Whatever genius book I had floating in my middle of the night mind was lost to Lucky Dragons public pee terror.

I am unpacking very slowly here at the homestead, listening to Nina and Willie and the news. We have moved from a house where every room is sunny to a dark house with 2 sunny rooms. All the plants are crowded together now, duking it out.

I want it to be summer and I want to be canning the already producing garden, making some onion jam. I want it be summer so I can meet this baby that is living in my body, who is 5 inches tall says the book. When I drink root beer, she kicks like crazy--strong for someone who is the size of my hand. I think it is a she. We will know on Monday, though sometimes the womb-pix are wrong. I am also excited to go to SXSW in Austin week after next because I think it will be warm enough for short sleeves outside. Doesn't that sound nice? I will look like a toddler/farmer in my overalls and short sleeves, but I do not care. I just want to see Juliana Barwick play, do my book events and see all my friends who moved away from Chicago so long ago!

DUAL CITIZENSHIP

In 1980, sometimes punk was also disco and also disco and also very very light pop.

Alaska y Los Pegamoides

and their Hit "Bailando" ft a horn section in mime fashion and masks

(via Chicago's great new 100 days of disco blog)

HOW ABOUT OR NOT

I emailed a lady on Craigslist about whether she would separate a set of twin beds. In reply she sent me a crazily detailed email about mattresses that I didn't ask about she would not be throwing in for free, which I didn't reply to, followed 8 hours later by this email:

Hey Jessica
my guy (husband) said
that if you wanted to pick up a cse of miller hilife cans they r on sale at CVS for 12.99
and he would deliver curbside for u
but you would still have to come and check the bed frame out prior to
delivery and pay the monies and beer and then he could just
follow u or if your taking public trans u could just travel back to your
place with him if u take it
either way
he does no deliveries prior to u seeing it -
but is more than willing to deliver it for the chump change of beer
smiles
take care
let us know if your interested (or not) smiles

THIS YEARS MODEL

Everyone pick up the Reader this week! It is exciting! 4 new pages of music content--c'est bonkers, yes? The links on these have gone up and then down 4 times this morning, so if they don;t work now, try again later: There is also my review of Holly Miranda's record in there after the Newsom, and after the debut of GOSSIPWOLF, which is our new music news and gossip column from me and JR. My Billy Corgan shit memoir joke got cut, but other than that I am pleased about my collaboration with my dear pal JR. Also, this means the Reader music section is like 1/3 former Hit it or Quit it people, which I think bodes well. Also, my pal David Wilcox, who you might know from his occasional stories on This American Life did a great, personal cover story about "retard" and the portrayals of the retarded in the media and recent outrage about it. It's a must read.